Current Events

President Harry S. Truman had a sign on his desk with ‘The buck stops here’ inscribed on it. This was meant to indicate that he didn’t ‘pass the buck ‘ to anyone else but accepted personal responsibility for the way the country was governed. Truman didn’t originate the phrase, although it isn’t likely that we would ever have heard of it had he not adopted it.

I want to start writing with ‘Damn Donald Trump!’ but that sounds like I have a human emotion. An angry emotion. The Trump follower may throw the new F&ck My Feelings flag at me. Tell me, Trump follower: is this the new confederate flag or the new American flag? Is it also about your identity—not a statement of political support, but who you are?

Let’s assume being a Trump follower is one of your ‘labels’ – like wife, mother, husband, aunt, father, lover of Trump. I get it, I like to add humorist to my labels. Or should I add the new one that Trump followers love? Libtards. But am I? You tell me: A libtard is an insult usually used by conservatives to characterize liberals as stupid. For the record, I am actually a democrat who believes in democracy. But what do words matter?

What do words matter?

Words can be beautiful, hurtful, truthful, lies. Words form sentences that are put out into the world in order to inform, educate, provoke an action or emotion.

When an elder, teacher or person of authority (a clergy, minister or government official) speaks to you, what do you expect to hear? Answers may vary on what we expect to hear, but collectively, can we all agree on what we don’t expect to hear?

Lies. Divisiveness. Meanness. Blame.

According to a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, blaming others is socially contagious. Just watching someone pawn their failures off on another can make others do the same to protect your self-image. The result can be detrimental to everyone involved.

When an individual is pointing to external reasons for their mistakes or lies, it hinders their ability to learn and become more effective. Scientists have proven certain personality traits are part of the puzzle of why we blame, with optimistic people being less likely than pessimists to blame and narcissists more likely to ditch responsibility.

Does the buck stop here matter anymore? Or can we simply blame others for our behavior and actions? Do we blame others by spewing lies, meanness and divisiveness? I don’t think we do. I think Donald Trump does.

Dear Trump follower, what is it about him that gets a pass for blaming others for situations he promised Americans he would fix–or issues that arise that he’s responsible for–and instead, he passes the buck?

Growing up in the south, we were taught that you had accountability for your actions and that you owned your mistakes and fibs. If you blamed others when you may have only been part of the problem, you better hide. It was not tolerated.

So to the family members, educators, ministers and others in authority positions that taught me ‘right from wrong’, how do you turn your head when Trump plays the blame game? Is it because there’s a long game you have your heart set on?

I know I will lose many of you on my arguments against him on how he’s lied to all Americans about healthcare, education, systemic racism, immigration, voting rights, foreign policy, misogyny, terrorist groups, religion, tariffs and jobs, and even his own government departments, including our incredible military, so today I will refrain. But I am not keeping quiet about Covid-19.

“This is deadly stuff.” – February 7, 2020.

President Trump was recorded talking about Covid-19. He has blamed China. He blamed the Democrats. He blamed American scientists and researchers, including the CDC. He lied about PPE and testing. He threw everyone under the bus in his ‘blame game’.

His priority as a public servant in the highest office in the leading country in the world is to protect Americans above all else. HE KNEW and BELIEVED that the disease was not the flu and it could kill up to five times more than the 20-30,000 that died each year from the flu.

President Trump did understand, at an early date, the public severity of Covid-19. We thought he just didn’t get it or take it seriously, which is bad enough. Let me repeat that his words are recorded. He chose to pass the buck on the truth because he.does.not.care.

He did know it would kill more than 150,000 Americans and he chose to deliberately lie to each of us. Maybe he didn’t lie to his Republican Senators as several bought stocks in pharma companies after visiting the CDC.

If at the very, very least we could have expected him to tell everyone to wear a mask, then that alone would have saved so many American lives. He held the power to help us live because his words matter. Why didn’t he say: Wear a mask, folks. Let’s do it together! Let’s help our loved ones live. Let’s protect all the tough Americans on the front line. Instead, he makes fun of people for wearing a mask and Trump followers ‘follow his words’.

The words from a scientific study that I shared earlier in the article are worth repeating: Just watching someone pawn their failures off on another can make you do the same to protect your self-image. The result can be detrimental to everyone involved.

It’s your choice if you defend him because of the economy, because people have rights to not be constrained in a mask or because most of the people dying are old anyway. But we are Americans first and that means being tough and making a few sacrifices, taking care of each other and expecting the truth. We can handle the truth and you know that. Don’t forget we pulled together as Americans after 9/11 when there was a Republican president.

What if President Trump would have told us on February 7 that this was a novel/new disease and to buckle up for a few months until the experts figured out how it was spreading and to help the people on the front lines and our loved ones, wear a mask. Imagine if he didn’t pass the buck and play the blame game. Imagine the country coming together because his words matter.

Donald Trump had a choice. He chose to lie to all Americans.

As I begin chuckling at the Woody Allen interview, I abruptly stop reading.

Even if a court cannot prove he had wrongdoing, he married his step-daughter that was very young.

As it happens, today the celebrity gossip news is abuzz with Johhny Depp’s wife, Amber Heard. Not only is she filing for divorce during the week of his mother’s death (right there – how insensitive, we think!), but she also files a restraint on her husband based on verbal and physical abuse with evidence.

And people share: was he driven to insanity because she’s younger, dated women, his equal and he couldn’t handle it? Let’s make this clear: NO ONE deserves abuse or fear. After more of the story has come out and he lost in court regardless of his publicists and lawyers that attempted to cover up his well-known drug and alcohol abuse because he is so adored, I am truly repulsed that it is in our nature to assume and judge. Bottom line: the ‘only’ business we have is to feel sympathy for the person abused and stop reading the gossip that makes money. We may or may not find out the truth that one or the other is lying or there is something in the middle but if anyone is physically, mentally or verbally excused, there is ground-zero excuses.

Back to Woody Allen. Everyone knows he is eccentric and that is what is so great about his movies. Anyone that makes us laugh has to have redeeming qualities, right? I admit, as I former clarinet player, I thought about going to see his show at Elaine’s in NYC.

We have all heard the stories. Not only did he marry his wife’s child, which can maybe be explained over time considering the marriage has lasted but now we hear his daughter has told her story over and over that he physically abused her. Do we simply ignore? Do we take the stance that he hasn’t been convicted, so until proven otherwise in court we will not judge?

And there is Chris Brown. Didn’t Rhianna take him back after the restraining order was lifted? Was that a green light for other musicians and singers to collaborate with him? He was young and had personal issues, it was a one-off, right? Then why has he been arrested time and time again? Hey, I am just asking the questions.

And what none of us want to address: Michael Jackson. I would say 99.99% of the world population that knows his music and life history would say yes to this question: Do you think Michal Jackson was a bit odd? But then subsets of that question are where we potentially lie to ourselves and others to feel better when we get up and dance when ‘Rock with You’ comes on. We justify the facts and balance our actions with Well, that was the old Michael Jackson. Way before the [fill in the blanks] ruined him. I have read interviews with his children who you would love to believe as they stand by their father’s side. I then acknowledge in my head that he may have done very bad things but maybe his children really knew him? This is a losing case in my head.

And then there is Bill Cosby. Maybe this is where we collectively came to the conclusion that he isn’t a good man. We did NOT want to believe he could drug all these women and take advantage of them sexually, but as each woman came forward to tell their story, the consistency and trauma were real. Why did we need really take the stories seriously until many women came forth? Safety in numbers?

Would we need 30+ women to come out against Woody Allen to take that situation seriously?

Artists make us happy. The accusations on some, I don’t know if they had bad intentions from childhood or if fame made them invincible. All I know is that I want to believe what I believe is the best in each person so I feel good when I enjoy their art, but the fact is – I don’t know. I am in public relations and know the stories that can be presented to make the worst person look like America’s sweetheart.

So when it comes to people in the public that have been linked with some type of assault on others, is it their likability’ they bring into our life – their music, movies, words – that make us, if only a tiny bit, justify some over others? If an artist or leader inspires us, makes us laugh, educates us, helps us feel in the good way and forget our problems – and you find out they are a fundamentally terrible person, what do you feel? I think what we do comes after what you feel.

What is our duty to ourselves, society and the search for truth?

We hate terrorists that blow up people. Instantly we hate them and know they are in the wrong. We don’t need testimonies or a court to tell us they are bad. We have visual proof of pain.

Is that the problem we have? If we don’t have visual proof, do we instantly need to know what led up to the ‘abuse event’ and think we need to know how we feel or react or what side to take in an instant? So under pressure, we give our opinion and we feel we can’t change our minds? Can we blame the media for confusing us so much that we can’t possible know the truth and ‘take sides’?

That’s basically what it comes down to – taking sides. Having an opinion and sticking with what’s right in our mind if we feel that person has wronged others.

All I know for sure is this: when a Chris Brown song comes on the radio, I instantly turn the station. And I feel good about myself.

Of moon and marsh

Unsettling stories from the south

Does the buck stop here anymore?

“This is deadly stuff.” – February 7, 2020.

We want to believe what we want to believe.

As I begin chuckling at the Woody Allen interview, I abruptly stop reading.

Would we need 30+ women to come out against Woody Allen to take that situation seriously?

What is my role in punishing these people if they were in the wrong? And can I make a collective difference in society? Or are these the wrong questions to even ask?

What is our duty to ourselves, society and the search for truth?